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"About Stammering"
What is Stammering
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Stammering, also known as stuttering is a speech disorder that affects the fluency of speech. It is characterized by disruptions in the production of sounds, syllables, or words.
Types of Stammers:
Repetition: This involves repeating sounds, syllables, or words. For example, repeating the first sound of a word multiple times before completing it.
Prolongation: This occurs when a sound or syllable is extended. For example, stretching the first sound of a word for an extended duration.
Blocking: This is when speech is completely halted, and no sound comes out for a moment. For example, a person tries to speak but gets stuck and silent usually at the beginning of a word.
Bouncing: This involves repeating the first sound of a word. For example, starting a word with multiple repetitions of its initial sound.
Filler Sounds and Words: These are extra sounds or words added to speech to cope with stammering. For example, saying "um," "uh," "like" or "er" frequently to fill gaps in speech. These sounds are common with everybody, but a person trying to avoid or stop a stammer will repeat them and use them a lot more.
Phrases as Run-ups: Some people use phrases as a run-up to a sentence, repeating them as they prepare to say what they want to say. For example, repeating "You know, you know" before continuing with their sentence.
Stammering varies from person to person.
The severity of a stammer can vary significantly from person to person and even from situation to situation. For some individuals, speaking and getting words out can be a real struggle. This can lead to intense frustration and exhaustion. It can be such hard work.
The emotional impact of stammering is profound, as those who stammer often experience a wide range of emotions related to their speech difficulties.
The feeling and emotions related to stammering are not always easy to talk about and explain to people who don't stammer.
This is another reason why I love Changes as it gives the opportunity to those who stammer to have a safe place to talk to people who really understand and will support and listen because they are and have been in your shoes.
Experiences of Stammering:
We walk the same path - You Are Not Alone
Stammering can be very isolating and you can feel like you are the only one experiencing it.
Over the years, I have listened to many different stories about difficult and challenging experiences from people who stammer.
Some of the individuals I spoke with had never shared their stories before, and some had never even met another person who stammered.
There are many people who stammer, and many who have shared similar experiences to each other.
Some of the people I have spoken with have been kind enough to share their stories in their own words.
I have put them together for you, some of these stories you may well find relatable.
These are just a little reminder that we are walking the same path, you are not alone.
Shared Experiences Of Stammering
The Bus
Heidi
My daily bus ride home consisted of me stopping at the shop on the way to the bus stop to ensure I had the correct change for the bus. (Maybe showing my age here - back in the day when we paid with money on a bus)
I would then wait at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to appear over the hill. It was always as if in slow motion seeing it getting closer and closer. I would never know which part of the queue to be in, the beginning to get it over with but then the risk of holding up the entire queue. The middle and still have people in ear shot of me or the end where i'm not holding anybody up but my heart might jump out of my chest in the process of waiting for my turn.
On this particular day, I waited until the end. I got on the bus and started trying to ask for my fare, I was showing the exact money in my hand to help indicate what I was asking. People could hear me, that's for sure, the bus was silent (so it seemed) and the driver kept asking me what i wanted. He made it very clear he was frustrated with me. Then to my horror he told me to either ask for my fare or get of off the bus. That really didn't help as you can image, and I just couldn't ask for my fare, he made it 10000 times worse.
The Bus Continued
He then said it again, if you can't ask for your fare get off my bus.
I knew I was in ear shot of other people, and not one single person on a full - standing room only bus came to help me.
To my disbelief he then throw me off the bus.
The humiliation as the bus drove away and all the people were looking out at me.
I was a young girl of 18/19 years old
I walked a long way home and never told any of my family I was too embarrassed.
I look back and wish I had reported it, I never told anybody at the time.
Even as I typed this, it is still very hard to believe that actually happened.
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I recall telling this story on a TV show with Richard & Judy . Richard Madeley couldn't believe it when i told him and was furious. I remember him speaking to me about back stage too, it had really annoyed him.
The Telephone
Anonymous
Having a stammering block on the telephone was always such a nightmare, especially at the beginning of a call when the person on the other end didn't realise anybody was actually there trying to speak or during a call when the other person would think you had gone.
But something that still makes me cringe to this day is when calling my then boyfriend on the phone and his Nan answered. I tried to ask to speak with my boyfriend but no words would come out, however hard I tired. In the end she put the phone down.
As if that wasn't humiliating enough, I found out later that she was upset as she thought it was a nuisance caller (let's say) as all she could here was heavy breathing.
Mortified.
Jim
When I turned 25, I was still very much in denial about my stammer: I was a covert stammerer, and had been quite “successful” at hiding it.
I was looking for work, and accepted a temporary job doing door-to-door market research interviews. I soon discovered a problem: the questions were scripted, and I had to read out the questions with the exact words as written.
I could not use my usual word-switching tricks. So on the first market research interview, I stammered on some words. On the second interview, I stammered on the same words, plus a few more. On the third interview, I stammered on the same words, plus a few more.
By the end of the project, I was having great difficulty in speaking the words, so I usually resorted to showing the questions to the interviewee.
I was very worried that I would be sacked for stammering. But no-one complained, and I actually completed more market research interviews than anyone else on the project!
However, the experience left me in no doubt that my stammer was out of control, speaking was too stressful, and I needed help.
Heidi
I recall one of my midwifes really having an issue with my speech, so I had to speak with another midwife to mention that i didn't feel comfortable with her and she clearly didn't feel comfortable with me.
I avoided her whenever possible, she was then there at the start of my first birth and actually asked "my husband" if "I" wanted an epidural. Although he knew my answer, he knew me too, and told her she better ask me that not him.
But that wasn't the first or last time a doctor has either spoken to my Mum, My husband or even MY CHILDREN (when they were children) to answer a question they should be asking me.
It amazes me how many experiences of being treated badly because of a stammer happen within the medical care profession. Such a lack of understanding from too many over the years.
Katie
Part of my degree at university was to do a year work placement. I was worried about this as I hadn’t been to an interview before. The interview was for a large company in London and my parents came to drop me off, as knew how nervous I was. I didn’t know what to expect and most of all, I was worried about being able to say my words and not get stuck. I went in and the first question was ‘what is your name?’ and I blocked. We moved past that but I froze after this, and could not get one word out. Eventually they asked if I wanted to stop the interview and I just nodded. As soon as I was out the building, I cried my eyes out. How was I ever going to start a career if I couldn’t get past an interview? It was at this point I knew I wanted to do something about it.
Suzy
Speech and drama class age 12.
It was a class we all had to do, not one I chose.
We had to learn and recite lines 72-89, Act 2, Scene 2 from Shakespeare’s, ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’. A speech made by the character ‘Puck’.
I spent hours at home learning the lines, I could say them completely fluently in my bedroom on my own, however when it was my turn to ‘perform’ in class, it was absolutely horrific.
I couldn’t even get the first sound, let alone word, out. All the other girls were staring at me, some giggling, some with looks of awkwardness and embarrassment for me on their faces. The teacher made me try, over and over again.
I got to the point where I could maybe do it one word at a time, with long pauses in between and so much struggling, hyper-ventilating, sweaty hands, shaking with nerves.
This was a class I had to attend every week. It got so bad that I started to pretend to my parents that I was unwell on a Friday, or I’d go and hide in the local woods to avoid going to school.
My parents didn’t know why, as I was too embarrassed and ashamed to tell them. I moved to a different school after the first year as I was so unhappy.
NB. My parents are amazing and have always been supportive and sympathetic. They just didn’t know why I was trying to avoid going in on a Friday because I didn’t tell them.
Suzy
Being on stage at The Paul Daniel’s magic show, him asking my name and me saying ‘Amy’ as I couldn’t say Suzy. I was about 9.
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When I first started sixth form, meeting new people and them asking where I lived. I couldn’t say the name of the village, so I’d point vaguely in a direction and say, ‘That way’. I lived 25 mins away!
I would have rather looked thick or an idiot than be seen to stammer .
Heidi
Part of a video I made for National Stammering Awareness Day 2019.
There is still so much to do to raise awareness. #stammeringawareness
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